coffee and keeks

When I was younger I used to be utterly obsessed with the name Amanda. I'm not sure why, because looking back at this time in my life, I am completely weirded out. I spent a countless amount of time wishing my real name was Amanda. My sister Ivy went through something similar, but more extreme. She was obsessed with the name Dina. She told everyone around her to call her Dina. When strangers asked her name, she replied Dina. Then she moved on to the name Juliet. She is a musical theatre star, so naturally she immersed herself and played the part. The only way she would respond to my parents was if they called her Juliet. In an encounter with an officer that was checking our passports, he asked her name and she responded with "Juliet. but my other name is Dina and my real name is Ivana." That was a big no no and led her into big trouble. As of today, she is 11 years old and responds to Ivana, Ivy, or IvyRod. The "Dina" and "Juliet" phases thankfully p...

Everything always has a way of working itself out. Always. The situations you stress about seem to have good endings, and even if they're not good, they're still an ending. And in the end, everything comes together whether you like it or not. You are first to admit that you overthink. a lot. Especially about what could go wrong instead of what could go right. You worry about the future and events that haven't yet happened. You stress "what-ifs" and think of every possibility for every situation. It scares you not knowing what happens next. But you always find that after spending what feels like eight hours stressing and overthinking about something dumb, it isn't as bad as you think it is.  Everything will eventually come together. Unexpected good can come out of any situation. As can unexpected bad, but this is where you need to trust the process. In God's hands the only way you can go is forward. There are bumps in the road, but in the end you are so...

I overwork myself. Because of this, there are consequences. I don't realize these consequences exist until I come face to face with them. I take on more than I can handle because I think I'm some sort of badass super human. (spoiler alert ... I'm not) I pull all-nighters to finish the homework that isn't due until next week. Yes, the satisfaction of finally being finished is amazing, but regret comes at school. I am grumpy. I don't pay attention in class. I am simply not myself. The people around me definitely notice. I tell myself I need to work on my time management to stop the all-nighters which again ... doesn't work out. When my friends have problems I let them come to me. They talk, rant, cry, let out their emotions. I listen, give advice where I can, and try my best to help in any way that I can. I have problems of my own to deal with, but I deal with theirs first. This is probably the cause of my occasional emotional breakdowns. This is no one...

Coachella Fest consists of pure feelings of euphoria. The amount of energy and good vibes is insane!! I love that this festival is what my hometown is known for. One day is enough to go through all of the emotions. (and one day is also enough to get sick from the smell of all the weed)  The performances are absolutely iconic.  There is a unique energy between the performers and crowd that works perfectly together. Everyone at the festival is striving for the same thing -- having a good time and listening to good music. This goal radiates happiness and excitement all throughout the festival. It was truly an awesome experience that I would go through again in a heartbeat. But for now, until next year Coachella ;)

What I should be doing: studying for an English quiz on  Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew" What I actually am doing: thinking 'bout life and writing this lol. Putting faith in other people is hard for me. Maybe its because I've been let down so many times, or maybe its just because I'm not close with many people. I would much rather keep my secrets or do something for myself rather than rely on someone else. "Trust me" are two words I often hear together and on a regular basis. They are dreaded. They cause me to overthink at night and worry too much.  I trust God through any situation whether it be good or bad. I find myself to have such strong faith in Him because I know that in the end he will never let me down. Everything he does and brings into my life is for a specific reason. He knows how my life will turn out and I simply need to put my faith in Him and that He will lead me down the right path.  Best friends since fifth grade, Nadiy...

There was a video on the CNN website saying that these past 100 days may have been the worst of any presidency yet. I am probably the least political person I know, but I have strong feelings toward this presidency.  Although we should be hopeful and trust that President Trump will do what he believes is best for our country, many people have begun to live in fear. Fear of being deported, fear of having rights taken away, fear of violence… The list goes on and on.  I personally am most afraid of having my rights taken away. As a woman I have to work twice as hard as men in order to get what I want. As a woman of hispanic origin, I need to work three times as hard. My wish is for myself and women across the country to be seen as equal to men because we can do all the same as them and even more. But with President Trump, my hopes of seeing a country that is completely equal have been let down.  The way he talks about women is revolting. The disrespect that is received...

This has been sitting heavily on my heart for a few days. I have written this countless times, but gone back and deleted all of it. My attempts to share what is going on in my mind don't satisfy me. So my last option is being straightforward:  There is no point in holding grudges.  There is no point in making someone feel bad about themselves. There is no point in being friends with someone if the relationship doesn't work out. Forgive and forget.  Always be nice and spread love.  Get rid of toxic people.  Start fresh.  It is best for everyone <3