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"dancing past the point of no return"

I do this thing where most of the time I don't care what other people think of me, so I do whatever I want and I say whatever comes into my mind. It can end well, or in regret. Either way, there is no going back. And I'm in the process of learning to LOVE the fact that there is no rewind button. Whatever happens happens, and I'm starting to accept that.

Its okay that sometimes I'm an idiot, it's great to be opinionated, and its even better to speak out about how you really feel. There is no going back, so might as well embrace every moment. All of them. The good, the bad, and even the embarrassing.

 Ive stopped carrying pieces of my past as a burden because I've recently made the realization that I can't change the past, only how I look at it. Soooooo, Ive decided to start looking at it in the best light possible. I laugh at the moments when my life has screwed me over and I've made dumb mistakes. I've stopped the guilt regarding the words that come…
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Wowzers. Four days spent out of your comfort zone changes ya man. During this time I had an epiphany. A few, actually. While I will not be sharing them all, I will be sharing that there are more important issues in this world than to be complaining about how gross school uniforms are or how annoying someone is or how frustrating it is when McDonalds runs out of McGriddles. 

This trip strengthened a spiritual connection that I felt had been long lost for me. I came back happy. So happy. So thankful. So blessed. I'm actually kind of upset that it took a service trip to realize how blessed I am. I should've realized this a long time ago. A week ago today I returned to the comfort of my home and coziness of my bed. I've been blissful for an entire week. I have more patience, I have more concern, I have more of a grounded mindset. 

I've learned to take a step back in difficult situations. I have stopped stressing so much about all the small stuff. I realized that I freak out …

No secrets here ... JK

I overshare. Fact. Everyone and their mother knows everything about me. Anyone can find out what I had for breakfast, my current mood, if I'm on my period asking or simply me telling. No need to say anything for me to tell you my life story ;). I share the small, mostly unimportant details of my life, but the big events going on I keep top secret. I only enjoy others knowing my business to a certain point. This point is hard to get to, as my friends know almost everything about me. But as well as they think they know me... they don't. I keep a lot to myself. I hold it all in. Sometimes I feel like I'll explode because of all the thoughts going through my head , but then I just tell myself "I'm fine I'm fine it's FINE!!!"

I am transparent because I choose to be. This is both good and bad. Good: Sharing my thoughts and whatever is on my mind helps me bond with others and connect in ways I wouldn't of thought was possible. In a way, I feel like…

anotha one

Two weeks ago today I embarked on a new journey that is my sixteenth year of life. Very scary, very exciting. I have many hopes for it but I am trying to sail through the year with no expectations.

I hope this is the year I figure stuff out. I don't know what kind of "stuff" I'm even talking about ... thats what I need to figure out ;) But I hope by this time next year I have a more transparent mindset when it comes to knowing what I want and knowing what I am doing, as I am extremely indecisive. And I hope this realization doesn't come in the way it would in a cheesy coming of age movie. 

On another note I am sixteen years and fourteen days old and already #living. I am a newly licensed driver and driving the road like I own it ;)). jk I drive like a granny

I am excited to see what this year brings. Maybe new friends?? new mindsets?? life changing experiences ?? My hope is that the answer is yes to all of the above. And that will also be my answer to anything consi…

baby-stepping into the real world

My not so little sis has graduated middle school and is joining me in high school in three short months. It will be a change for all of us. Here is what I wish someone had told me. 

High school.

Welcome. You will have a dramatic, insanely fun, tear jerking experience. Tear jerking in both good and bad ways. You will make new friends, some that you like and some that you pretend to like. You will dislike some teachers and you will call others "mom." You can make the best out of it, or let it suck. Its your choiiicceeeee. 

Try a new sport. Make friends with upperclassmen (even though they will one day leave you and you will cry. a lot.) Be the best version of yourself possible. Don't be afraid to ask for and receive extra help, everyone does it. Stay out of drama and don't make small things a big deal. Live for yourself and no one else. You're perfect and you're worth it and everybody loves you, don't ever forget it. 

Your first two years at this wonderful plac…

halfway there baby

SOS life is moving wayyyy too fast. I am (almost) officially halfway done with my high school career. So. Freaking. Crazy. 
Some of my best friends graduated this past weekend. My sister graduates middle school on Friday (!!!!!) and soon gets to join me in this wonderful world that is called high school. I turn sixteen two weeks from this very day and will hopefully be getting my drivers license a few days after. But how??? I still feel twelve. 
Currently reflecting on my sophomore year and thinking about how thankful I am for every part of it. All of the memories, new friendships, and meaningful conversations. Even the parts of the year filled with tears and all-nighters and ugly cries. I am most definitely not the same person as nine months ago. Every laugh, cry-fest, and person I've encountered have impacted me in one way or another.
Here comes junior year. Rumor has it that life only gets harder from this point on. But it also only goes uphill from this point on. Who knows what t…

the world through my lens

I love to camp. Camping is my favorite activity, especially if I’m with the people that I love the most, aka my family. I love the feeling of breathing in crisp air from the high elevation. I love the sunshine. I don't think I could ever move to Seattle, because I would probably be depressed from all of the rain. I love flowers, especially daisies. I love polaroid pictures. It is the best way to capture forever images of my favorites, whether it is people, places, or things that I enjoy. I also love glitter. It is a way to describe me. Glitter is very direct. It gives a wow-factor and draws attention. I can relate to this. I draw attention in both negative and positive ways. Negative: I am clumsy. I am always falling, tripping, spilling things… drawing attention to myself. Positive: I am very outspoken. I am vocal about my thoughts and feelings which is good in my opinion. I make myself known to others through my emotions and sensations. My favorite city in the entire world is New…