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failure.

I overwork myself. Because of this, there are consequences. I don't realize these consequences exist until I come face to face with them. I take on more than I can handle because I think I'm some sort of badass super human. (spoiler alert ... I'm not)

I pull all-nighters to finish the homework that isn't due until next week. Yes, the satisfaction of finally being finished is amazing, but regret comes at school. I am grumpy. I don't pay attention in class. I am simply not myself. The people around me definitely notice. I tell myself I need to work on my time management to stop the all-nighters which again ... doesn't work out.

When my friends have problems I let them come to me. They talk, rant, cry, let out their emotions. I listen, give advice where I can, and try my best to help in any way that I can. I have problems of my own to deal with, but I deal with theirs first. This is probably the cause of my occasional emotional breakdowns. This is no one's fault but mine, and I don't blame anyone but myself. 

I try my best at everything I do, but I still fail in one way or another. I realize I take on more than I should. Other people realize it too, and they let me know. I try to change, but always end up returning to my old habits. I enjoy the feeling of overachieving although it comes with the aftermath of regret. Its weird. I keep putting myself through these situations in order to receive a sense of satisfaction that doesn't even stay. But I'm trying to work on it. Its not going smoothly, but its going. :)

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